the memory of songs

Well, along with Devon, I made an appearance on Will's blog! The topic of the conversation was songs from the 80s...particularly songs that were not really mainstream. When I think about the 80s (and early 90s) I feel grateful that I was queer(ed). I feel that I had access to this great community of outsiders (gothic, punk, new wave, etc) that listened to great music that, in its time, was very much contercultural. I see the undergrads walking around campus sometimes sporting a mohawk or gothic wear (that I'm sure they purchased at the local mall) and I am reminded once again how things do not remain the same...they change and morph into a fad that is only a former shell of the protection and confirmation of idenity that it once was...the creation of the audience has, finally, been materialized. Things change in many ways and, as old as I am now, I should come to expect it. But I still am nostalgic but what is troubling is that even the nostaliga that I hold onto is, in itself, being commdified...it seems that capitalism knows no bonds. I was walking around in target and I saw shirts that were clearly made to look as if they came from the eras of the 70s and 80s...shirts with logos and pictures, etc. These looked exactly like the shirts that me and my friends would purchase (at say, 50 cents to a dollar at most) at the local Goodwill or Salvation Army. It is sad that cultural memory has been coopted, slapped on a t-shirt and sold for a lot of money. Better yet, I saw a young guy the other day wearing a Pixies concert t-shirt that (the concert) took place in the 80s....he wasn't born yet! I just am saddened by these artefacts that are being sported around today as fashion and the wearers have no idea as to context...it just looks pretty. One thing that I feel has not changed is, to a large extent, me. I still feel like I'm on the outside watching...just watching all these people running around in circles..."I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad." I found the lyrics to Tears for Fears' song "Mad World" a song from my youth....It's funny, I can still remember dancing to it with my pink/eggplant colored hair, black clothes, doc martins, and a huge nose ring surrounded by a community were I very much felt at home. Now we have advanced degrees, babies, partners, etc.

Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
And their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tommorow, no tommorow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you’cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you’cos I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very
Mad world