the violence of rhetorical silence

i believe that rhetorical silence can be violent. i think that i want to start doing research on the act of dismissiveness and of NOT talking...of actively ignoring. i have noticed how on many levels of my life i have been violently ignored by others as i myself have violently ignored. the act of actively ignoring is a way to claim power over one's body while also attempting to stabilize the ecology of one's established place.

and yet in actively ignoring a person some people make a point of NOT ignoring you. of asserting their selves upon you when you are clearly attempting to ignore them. this act of assertion is most definitely violent as well...a war that wages between speaking as intrusion and silence as defense and counter attack. in this latter example this rhetorical silence is reactionary...attempting to claim power over words levied against my "self" and at the same time quietly rebutting a rhetorical attack (unsurprisingly [in this instance] generated from 'straight' while male subjectivity).

because my silence is, in my mind, justifiable for solidifying and simultaneously protecting the borders of my self, others' reactionary silence and dismissiveness against me is most certainly and violently and absurdly reactionary. i saw one such person the other day. i turned my back, caught a reflection of this person in the window of the door i was staring at. the silence was thick and yet sharp and i could not help but feel the hatred radiating from their own narcissistic subject position. it's paradoxical. in a way, i don't care but yet in other ways i do. i care enough to write about it in the very least.

why day friday

1) why do i always feel like i'm running late even when i have no place to go?

2) why is annie lennox's song "why?" so damn good?

3) why does it seem so damn cold when we're supposed to be globally warming?

4) why is bush not being impeached?