coffee with the graduate director

i'm trying to motivate myself to finish

and here's how it breaks down

if i don't get on the ball

finish my syntheses

and take my comprehensive exams

i will not be able to write my dissertation by may of 09

thus i will not get my ph.d.

thus i will not be able to work

meaning publish and teach

as a scholar (which is what i want to do)

my funding will be gone

i will have to adjunct until i am 90 years old

i will live like a graduate student for the rest of my life

or much worse

which is a possibility but

i'm choosing not to think

about that

for now

i need that hour

of bliss

from yesterday

to last longer